Getting In Your Own Way. The Art of Self-Sabotage & How To Stop

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Getting In Your Own Way. The Art of Self-Sabotage & How To Stop

 

When I ask an inquiring client what challenges or roadblocks they have experienced in their previous transformation journey that led to them stopping, or simply not reaching their goals, I get one of the following;

I don't have enough time

My job is too demanding

None of the diets work for me

It's my genetics

I have injuries that prevent me

I don't have a gym membership

 

Now, I am not saying that these are not real life challenges, however what is one thing that all of these obstacles have in common? By giving these challenges energy and life they are just self-sabotage dressed up in the disguise of personal justification. Let's break down the self-sabotage on each one shall we? 

I don't have enough time: The reality is we can make time for what is most important to us. YOUR own health and well-being should be your number one priority. I can guarantee in your daily routine reside some activities that are not serving your health and wellness, but you made time for those!

My job is too demanding: Things are as we accept them. Stress is a real thing, however the more we fixate and accept that in the things we are repeatedly doing, the more we are just damaging ourselves. Rather than being victim to the circumstance, what are things you can do to combat and decrease stress? You guessed right, working out, meditating and focusing on all things YOU make the world of difference in that cortisol.

None of the diets work for me: Exactly, they don't work. And simply passing off "trying" something that wasn't even designed for your body or real life and then passing it's failure off as a reason to eat bad is truly self-sabotage. Everyday you lift that fork to your own mouth. No one makes you eat badly, and you are not a victim to your cravings. "Food" is one of the most highly abused drugs (and I put the air quotes because of what is considered food is not even real food). You actively make the decision to feed yourself with things that harm your body versus help your body. No diet can fix this behavior, you have to take the responsibility.

It's my genetics: Is it your genetics to not be happy, healthy, and your highest energetic self? Highly doubt that. By passing off your well-being to being completely outside your control, you have signed on the dotted line of complete self-sabotage. By mentally "accepting" that it is something you cannot achieve because it is the cards you have been dealt is honestly you trying to make yourself feel better about not even trying. The truth is, it can be done, but you have to WANT to do it. You have to WANT better for yourself. Without this you have no grounds for intentional change.

I have injuries that prevent me: Injuries always have a cause, a reason, and there is always a modification for them. Just accepting they exist is literally get in your own way. In fact, they are one of the ways our body tried to communicate and get us to listen. Pain is your check engine light, whether it is an injury or an internal discomfort. It is not to be ignored and should be used as even greater motivation for intrinsically connecting with your body to heal and evolve.

I don't have a gym membership: Movement does not exist merely in those four walls. ANYWHERE can be your gym. Your living room, your backyard, the park, your office floor. There are zero limitation if you chose to see movement is not having any. Your POV has to be recalibrated to the setting of movement being part of you, as a gift, as a moment in your day that leaves you feeling amazing. The more you flow with this idea, the better it will become.

 

There is a solution to every problem if you choose to see it. But most of all, you cannot use the problem as a reason to not even try. We have ONE body, ONE life, and these self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors extend much further than the gym and into life itself. 

 

_____________________ 

 

 

Now I want to dive into what I have coined as the Three Stages of Getting In Your Own Way to Creating Your Own Way:

1. Self Destructive Behaviors

2. Self Sabotaging Thoughts

3. Self-Fulfillment 

 

1. Self Destructive Behaviors: 

This is the stage of Getting In Your Own Way where you are actively engaging in behaviors that are working against your greater good. An example would be smoking with asthma. That behavior is directly correlated to making your condition worse and you are aware of it but do it anyone (yes addiction plays a role here, but for simplicity of an example of an action you get the point). The key is to begin to become your own observer. Start to pause and take a step out to look in at your behaviors. Ask yourself "What is the outcome of this behavior and is this aligned with where I want to go/my greatest good". Now this doesn't mean every little behavior like having one glass of wine when you know you may get a small headache the next day is a self-destructive behavior. However, when repeatedly done in a way that is begins to effect you as a pattern of negativity or becomes an obstacle on your life, this is were you need to red flag it. Just as we have our dating red flags, I need you to start red flagging yourself.

 

2. Self Sabotaging Thoughts:

This is a step down from engaging in self destructive behaviors however can have an equally debilitating effect. Our thoughts are powerful, and consistent negative thoughts can alter our reality. Negative self-talk, functioning from a place of fear, doubting and worrying are all setting your vibration in a place to actually attract those things. The saying you are what you think couldn't be more true. I always tell my clients, you wouldn't spend time with someone who told you negative things about yourself everyday, so why do you accept it from yourself?

 

3. Self-Fulfillment:

Welcome to the beautiful phase of working through the observation, acknowledgment and rewriting the narrative of previous Self Destructive Behaviors and Self Sabotaging Thoughts. This is the point of growth in which you move with intention and awareness to only do what serves you, only think the thoughts that water yourself, and say no to anything that doesn't fall in those two categories. In a balance of creating boundaries with yourself and others you will find this happy place where everything truly can flow without the obstacles and barriers of sabotage. 

 

I truly hope you all can become the observers of yourself and begin the introspective work of no longer sabotaging yourself and instead giving yourself the opportunity to flourish.

 

Catch my energy,

Em